I'm so uncomfortable. Physically and emotionally. I didn't eat too badly at Christmas but I ate some sugar and some dairy. The snake doctor has told me to stay away from these things and to basically break the sugar addiction. Um so clearly I didn't do that over Christmas. I could have brought stuff I guess but I didn't. I had a brunch here at my house the day before and I made a casserole that no one liked really and a dessert that only like 2 of us liked. That being said I will get better at cooking things and OH FUCKING WELL. Jesus this is what is so hard about this - it feels like I am getting sober again and like I cant have all the stuff that other people have. I can't drink, smoke eat dairy or sugar and soon - NO BACON IM SURE. Deep breaths. Fuck it's just discomfort and it will pass. It is just super uncomfortable. It's not excruciating it's just - uncomfortable. I think you get the picture. Anyway this morning I made a chocolate chia seed pudding and I think it's going to be delicious. I love to cook so it's going to be fine and super healing. And there is some reason some stored up shit for why I keep doing this. I just need to let it through. I will be better for it on the other side but right now I want pizza with a side of baked brie. With ice cream! I mean that's the problem - I ate all that shit at Christmas and now I'm detoxing. Oh I see okay that is what is happening I'm detoxing. Alright well I need to exercise. Get my exercise on. Do my little bit of yoga and then jog on the treadmill. I'm up to 21 minutes now - that's pretty good. I guess today I will run a little bit faster too. Here's a list of what I am going to try to do today.
1. Stay grateful - I live in this nice, quiet apartment and I get to just work on myself for hours and hours all the time. Serious gratitude for that.
2. Exercise - it's one of the keys - major keys - my thinking shifts when I do and I feel so so much better walking around in my body throughout the day.
3. Drink water. I get crazy when I'm dehydrated.
4. Eat healthy.
5. Love big. Love honestly. Love through the discomfort.
6. Punch myself.
7. KEEP MY SENSE OF HUMOR.