Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Shitting and Puking at The Same Time - An Erotica Tale For The Ages

I got food poisoning yesterday - so from about 5:00 am to about 7:00 pm I puked my guts out and quite a few times was shitting at the same time uncontrollably.  It was fucking horrifying.  I can't believe I'm going to say this but it was even worse than chemo.  In that it was just so out of control and AWFUL.  Anyway the guy took such good care of me and I didn't get sick from doing anything crazy.  I ate healthy and - ugh I ate one chicken skewer though that tasted a little funny compared to the other chicken I ate.  Oh well.  I mean but good God - I am so sick of being sick.  My mind goes to such negative places - it's so awful.  For some reason last night in the middle of the night I kept waking up and my brain just kept repeating "Heteronormative" over and over again.  We had played cards against humanity Saturday night for my ladies night and someone had that card and so it must have stuck in my head but honestly I don't even totally know what it means so when my brain was repeating it I was like "Why??  Why are you on repeat??  I don't even know what that really means!"  Then I would fall asleep and wake up and it would happen all over again.  Ugh.  The good news is that I am feeling better and luckily I was able to just stay home these last 2 days.  I had to cancel my follow-up appointment for radiation but I will just go later in the week.  Good LORD.  So today I am just going to take care of myself.  I already meditated twice and I'm going to do it again.  Ugh I'm exhausted.  Even though I am in bed I am SO HAPPY to not be puking that it's thrilling.  I will be healthy again one day and I will be super healthy and it will be fabulous.  Byeeeeee.

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