I'm SOOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOO anxious. Is it making you anxious seeing that? It's making me anxious seeing that. Let's break it down....
1. I am an anxious person by nature.
2. I have had to much coffee today.
3. I am hormonal (fun right?)
4. I am still in treatment for cancer, turned down more surgery and no one has told me I'm completely off the hook as far as cancer goes. Also I'm uncomfortable in my boob and can't tell if I am in the clear myself - which doesn't totally make sense because I couldn't feel the cancer in my boob till they told me it was there so in essence I am semi-driving myself fucking batshit crazy worried about this cancer that being said I AM STILL GLAD I DIDNT GET MORE SURGERY.
5. I already mentioned the coffee but I will just mention it again.
6. I am over-stimulated in general.
7. I didn't meditate today.
8. I am so excited and so ready to jump back into shows and show business but I am doing that PUSH thing that hasn't ever worked and IM JUST FLIPPING OUT IN GENERAL.
9. I am not breathing.
10. I'm exhausted.
11. It's hot as fucking fuck out and I just now came into the air-con.
12. Even though I am so tired and need to relax and re-balance myself I keep "doing one more thing" that then stimulates me more and makes me - NUTS.
13. I have no idea.
So. So that's what's happening. One second - hold please. Thank you for holding. Okay so anyway. That's all - I am just a bit of a mess and I need/want to calm down. This helped. Now I'm going to meditate. WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE NORMAL AND CALM? JUST - I don't know? Is anyone normal? Probs. OH WELL I WILL NEVER KNOW. Ha. byeeeeeee.
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