Monday, July 24, 2017

Biopsy Day!

I said it like it's a fun thing even though it made me feel sick to my stomach to write that.  I have been freaking out about today, and then it just occurred to me about 20 minutes ago that I wont get the results for 2 weeks or so - maybe less but not today right?  So now I feel a little more calm.  Although I do feel weepy on and off.  It seems a little crazy also doing this diet when I may just be dying but also I have PMS and I can't tell what the fuck is going on at all.  I haven't been able to take my pain medicine for PMS because of the biopsy so I am just mess.  I mean you know - like I said the other day - I'm not like a craaazzy mess like a psychotic throwing fits and just being nuts mess.  But I am all over the place emotionally - ugh when am I not?  I mean I have a lot of emotions - that's it!  Throw in some hormones and a biopsy and it equals more emotions.  The guy is going to come with me today thank God.  I have the day off and I am super grateful for that.  We went to see my family yesterday and it was so much fun.  We had such a nice day trip and I took flowers from the farm.  So to wake up here after a good nights sleep, seeing fresh flowers on the table - it's wonderful.  We swam in the pool yesterday and I ate lots of meat - no cake!  The guy had 2 pieces!  Ha - that's some kind of fucking miracle that I didn't eat any cake.  There's plenty of time for cake and lets face it - I have had plenty of cake.  It does feel like I am white knuckling it a little bit with the no sugar but its only for 19 more days.  Today is Day 11 for this diet and that's exciting.  Exciting?  Hmmmm - that's probably not the right word.  Cool.  Cool?  Something??  It's a challenge and I am into challenges!  Okay I need to get ready.  I am really loving the Oprah/Deppak Choprah free meditation experience right now.  It's fucking amazing.  Love you Bluebie bye.

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