Home, sad - no shows.

I went and bought apples after my meeting.  Then just now I made myself some pound cake supreme.  Fried pound cake with ice cream and chocoloate sauce on top.  It's amazing.  I don't have on my glasses.  My guy's son thinks he's Jesus.  Yes - that Jesus.  The poor kid has been taking these drugs and I think he's kind of crazy anyway and now he thinks he's Jesus.  Well so anyway he's in rehab and his daughters guy is locked up.  So - well - I guess we are never really having any babies.  I mean - yikes.  Okay - so I amso tired.  I - ugh - am just sad and tired and that's it.  I miss my dog.  I miss my young body and not having cellulite on my back of my knees.  What is that anyway?  I had to change my clothes 4 times yesterday for my jewelry party because nothing fit.  I put on this loose shirt - supposed to be loose and the guy was like - wait how can that lose shirt be tight?  I was like BECAUSE IM FAT.  Poor thing - he was truly confused.  I went t o a great meeting tonight.  I need more alanon.  I need to go to sleep that's all.  Love you Bluebie bye.  It's just feels like my career is never going to happen.  IT's heart breaking.  Bye.