Sadness.

I feel so sad.  My neighbor said her dog always smells the door still for my dog - ugh.  I miss her so much.  My new lease came.  What am I supposed to do?  How can I move?  I'm so confused - he's not divorced yet - am I supposed to not sign the new lease and then hope he gets divorced?  Also how am I even supposed to move?  It's so hard running around now - what's going to happen when I'm even farther away?  But I'm in love with him - I want to be with him - ugh.  Also I went on an audition today and the owner of the store was PISSED that I left - but what the fuck??  I always get these auditions (not always - twice a month - MAYBE) and I can never go because no one can cover me.  Ugh - I know it's not crazy she wouldn't want me to leave the store for an hour but come on - I have never called in sick once, I cover people, I switch my schedule - ugh whatever.  Do you know the worst part of leaving?  I got lost - went to the wrong building - went up to the 3rd floor of the wrong place and said I was there for the audition and they were like whaaat??  Then I finally get to the audition and EVRYONE THERE IS CHUBBY AND OLD.  Then I see the break down is for out of shape people.  THANK YOU.  Then - omg I get into the audition and they were like - "Okay - go ahead and do what you prepared."  No direction or ideas and guess what I prepared??  Nothing.  Ha - I leave the audition and some lady has just change into a FULL COSTUME for the part.  Ugh- whatever.  I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up with the guy by not moving in with him.  Or by moving in with him.  I need ot go to bed - love you Bluebie bye.