Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

That's a saying in the program but as I write this I am guessing it is also a saying in regular life as well?  I mean it's true...if I keep doing the same shit - the same shit is going to keep happening.  The difficult part for me is recognizing that it is so so so sooooo uncomfortable to sit through the discomfort of doing something differently.  God.  SO uncomfortable.  Anyway - well this is a great problem to have.  Being uncomfortable from good things.  I have a show this afternoon and I swear to God I don't know how I am going to do it!  I am so tired.  Fuck.  Drive into the city and work hard because it's a small bar show and it's tough workout.  But I am lucky I get to do it and a tough workout is a good workout.  I can do it - I just have to do exactly what I am doing and write.  Write, write write.  Sigh.  I just sighed.  It's an absolutely gorgeous and stunning day.  I can do this.  I can do this!  I really can.  Little bit at a time.  Breathe.  Do my best.  Stay present.  Breathe.  Trust.  Ah!  Tough one but I can do that too.  Little bit each day.  Just like sobriety.  Slowly move forward.  Okay - love you Bluebie bye.