Thursday, June 25, 2015

Day 2122.

So this app I have tells me how many days I have been in recovery (I'm sure I have written that 12 times) and today is Day 2122.  Lord have mercy - unbelievable.  What's most unbelievable and amazing tome is not just that I have drank for that many days but that I'm slowly getting healthier also. SO SLOWLY.  Holy shit.  But today I took a shower, drank a green drink, prayed & meditate, walked through the park and brought an apple with me.  I also have on clean clothes and I am more or less comfortable in them.  Oh it's going to be busy here again today I can just tell so I wanted to write really quickly.  Something - I don't know what it is - I have to think differently about my career now.  I thought or think I thought that I could do it the way I did it last time - when I first started.  But everything has changed now - it's a completely different world and I am a different person and although it has worked a little bit - I am now left realizing I need to do something different.  SO.  So what in the world is it?  I don't know!  I'm asking people questions.  Ugh - it's quite frustrating - and confusing.  And you know I have decided that me taking care of myself, continuing to grow and be kind in these programs - while searching for ways I can contribute even more to this world - is being of service.  I'm not directly saving babies in Africa but who knows - maybe I am!  What?  Or I will.  What?  Lord I need some water.  My brain is flying in 50 million directions - I need to calm down or I'm going to be tired in 45 minutes and the day hasn't even started yet!  Breathe.  I'm going to pee and breathe.  Amen.  Love you Bluebie bye.

No comments:

Post a Comment

The Core of Me.

Well here I am at the end of this blog.  It's a little bittersweet because I am not sure I would have done it if they hadn't changed...