Rainy Sunday.

I'm at the guy's house - I brought my laptop so I can write on here.  We had a super lovely day yesterday and I got about 9 hours of sleep so I feel good.  Ha - I guess that's all I need to feel good in the morning - 9 hours of sleep.  Holy shit - who can get 9 hours of sleep every night?  Now he is making eggs and I'm writing on here.  Anyway - so I have no idea how I am going to balance my life here with this guy and my comedy and acting.  And I have no idea how to balance my acting with my day job.  And I have no idea how to - ugh - get more jobs.  So I am at a weird impasse so to speak.  I mean it's not a fork exactly - I don't know what it is.  I just don't know how to do all this.  I am hosting a show tonight which is wonderful.  Some part of me just wants to go to sleep early and wake up and get a manicure.  I don't know maybe that would make me happy for 3 days and then it wouldn't be enough.  How is my acting and comedy going to grow?  It takes time and time hanging out in clubs, videos - shows.  Ugh.  I don't know I guess I feel directionless.  I have to say my instinct is telling me that that's a good thing.  I have been going in a direction in my head that I thought was right and it wasn't.  So.  So okay - everything is different.  Fine.  I guess I am just going to do the homework I have to do for today and keep going - that's it.  I love the jewelry - it's super fun and I look one million times better - which makes me feel better - so that's awesome.  So grateful to be sober and figuring out how to live differently even if it is confusing and well - requiring patience.  Huh?  That was a weird sentence!  Ha.  Looooove you Bluebie bye.