Broccoli. Duplicity. The turning & Passing of Tiiiiiiime

Haha that made me laugh.  OKAY.  I started to eat broccoli again.  BIG NEWS!  I stopped eating it because it made me fart but now it doesn't and I am guessing it's because I am not eating the broccoli in cheddar cheese soup.  Um yeah.  So OKAY.  Also I think I thought that it was gross but it isn't.  It doesn't even taste bad.  WHO THE FUCK AM I?  I morphed into another fucking being!  I sautéed it this week with some turmeric infused olive oil in a pan with some garlic and it was good!  Then I had enough to put on my little gluten free, nut cheese pizza that I make.  ALSO GOOD!  Does it make me want to fucking CUM like that pizza near one club I work at?  Ah not quite.  But I also don't feel like I am dying the next day after eating it.  Or 3 days later when I am bloated and can't poop.  Hey!  Lower digestion issues - hey!  I sang that.  I truly think my issues with dairy have been even more difficult to get past than drinking.  Because just like with booze people are like (with a super panicky, judgmental tone) "Why can't you eat pizza??  What's wrong with pizza?  There's nothing wrong with dairy unless it isn't organic!  EAT WHAT YOU WANT CHEESE IS LIIIIIFE DO IIIIT."  Something like that.  Then I eat it and I LOVE IT and then I am dying.  Sooooo just like with drinking and everything else I can't really have it.  It makes my eyes sweat and honestly and truly nothing else makes my eyes sweat.  Why does anyone else even care what I eat anyway?  Why am I telling them?  I guess that's a better question!  GOOD FUCKING LORD.  My sponsor said I need to desensitize myself to other people - that I am too sensitive.  My therapist says I need more insulation.  Anyway I just got sleepy and I need to go get some groceries then cook for the week.  I also want to do this.  It gives me so much pleasure to grocery shop & cook.  Really & truly!  It's sunny out today and we got up early and went to a meeting.  It's not super exciting but it is really such a beautiful way to start the day and I don't have to tell anybody and I can just spend my day helping to take care of us.  There's a time and a place for me to tell people stuff and I have no idea when or where that is but maybe it's just here!  I literally am just talking to myself aaaall the time but it's okay - I really enjoy my own company.  I guess some space is good from other people and with the space will come an understanding (for me) of how to really be able to be around other people in a more manageable way.  LOVE YOU BLUEBIE BYE!!