I am tired. It's been snowing all day so it's real cozy in here and I'm tired because I had a show late last night and had to get up today to do our podcast. So I'm tired. I ordered some hair wax and I couldn't remember where I ordered it from (they changed the formula at the company so I had to search for someone who sold the original formula) and I had to search and dig and finally found the email from the company saying it was shipped - right? SO I check the tracking and it says DELIVERED - yesterday. YESTERDAY. I didn't get it yesterday and I certainly didn't get it today. I put on my snowboots and went out and looked just to make sure and yeah - NO HAIR WAX. It's expensive but it's AMAZING and works really great in my super bizarre hair right now so I really want this fucking wax right? Then I call the post office, the 1-800 number and I am holding and holding and waiting and waiting until - UNTIL.....I realize - I am acting like a fucking lunatic. My post office is closed. Am I really going to hold for 30 minutes for someone in Nebraska to tell me I need to ask my post office where it went? So you know what I did?? ARE YOU READY FOR THIS??
I hung up. I hung up and I made myself a cup of tea and then I meditated.
WHO THE FUCK AM I???
And then I felt so much better.
When I'm tired I start to spin and get over-stimulated. It has finally occurred to me after all these years that I do not have to continue to stay that way. I can stop whatever I am doing and CALM DOWN. I can let it gooooo. Jesus. This is why they call it a long, slow recovery. 9.5 years later and I can finally hang up the phone while I am on a 50 MINUTE HOLD. Haha. How's that for alcoholic?? They said it would be 50 minute hold and I was like "OKAY I AM HOLDING! GONNA BE RIGHT HERE. I am going to GET my hair wax!" Good Lord. Okay I have another show - gotta get to work on that yaaaaaay. Sigh. Byeeeee.
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