I finally felt better last night after a day of taking care of myself and getting to a meeting and doing service. Today it's sunny and I was able to get outside and exercise - which made me feel amazing - even though it's so fucking hard to get to that part - the part where I feel amazing. Jesus. Also it's fucking freezing. Well update on my hair wax - it seems to still be missing - I mean it is still missing. It got delivered here or 50 feet from here but I don't have it. I went to 3 neighbors houses and 2 said they didn't have it and one didn't answer. The guy called the landlord and she's going to ask the woman upstairs and then the guy will ask the downstairs guy later. I called the woman who sold it to me and she said she would refund me. SO THAT WAS SO NICE. It's literally the weirdest thing to me that this package would go missing. You know I just started to type who I thought might have taken it but I don't want to. I don't even think that's what happened and even if it did who cares. It's fine - everything is fine. I literally have bigger fish to fry like how to continue to stay alive and healthy. Yeah. I have 2 months to figure out how to take care of myself so I don't have to take that pill they want me to take. I believe they want to help me and I get it. I don't want to do it though. So I need a plan. I can't decide I want to go to California, refuse to fly and then just wait to see how I get there without doing anything. I NEED A FUCKING PLAN. Did that analogy make sense? No. Maybe? Anyway I need a plan. I want a plan anyway. I want to be healthy. Really healthy. Also I want to write more and I keep making myself a schedule and then not doing it. It's okay. I can keep trying. Just keep trying and trying. Side note...........
I am not responsible for people's feelings.
BUT IT FEELS LIKE I AM.
AND THAT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING.
UGH.
Bye.
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