Well - so the boring tale goes.......

or perhaps not so boring.  Maybe just right now it's boring.  Maybe right now it is BRILLIANTLY BORING and that is just fine.  I was so depressed the last couple of days it was unreal.  It occurred to me that I really am an alcoholic and suddenly that seems so overwhelming - or not - I don't know.  I guess I'm just shocked.  The good part is that if I ever decide to wonder if I'm not one I can just go back and read some of this blog from less then a year into my sobriety and see how truly batshit crazy I was - for proof.  I think I feel like I might be coming out of it a little bit now.  I don't have enough work or money but oh well.  I am not waitressing and I guess as slowly as my sobriety from drugs and alcohol came to me - that's how slowly my sobriety from waitressing will be.  I had no idea it would be so hard!  What am I even talking about?  I need more money and I have no idea what I'm doing.  I got wicked blisters on my feet which of one is now infected (in the most interesting and revolting way) from the shoes I wore to that interview on Monday and I can't seem to take care of myself anymore.  I didn't take a shower today and that's the second time this week I have done that (ha).  I can't seem to get out of bed.  My sheets turn into the most comfortable, soft, luxurious pieces of fabric - as soon as my alarm goes off.  It's like a magic switch.  Well anyway.  I don't know.  I keep going to meetings, calling people, taking phone calls - reaching out and calling my sponsor.  So.  Oh and the 5 things in general.  OKAY GOTTA GO DO SOMETHING - love you Bluebie bye.