Thursday, October 22, 2015

Frazzled and Crazy.

Maybe that should be the title of my book.  Ugh sigh.  Im having a hard time at this new job - it's hard to work with people and it's hard to work with self-centered people.  Im just getting triggered all the time - my flight or flight is kicking in 50 times a day.  Crazy Pants just cant keep her hands to herself.  So now I have talked about it with people and of course my one friend suggested - strongly - that I say something.  I mean I just cant take it - she grabs, slaps, pushes, aggressively high fives - HUGS - these crazy scary hugs - tells stories where she's coming at me - good fucking lord.  It's very VERY horrifying.  I also have to say - she does it to everyone.  And she never shuts the fuck up.  She doesn't stop talking.  This isn't going to work out at this job - that's it - and what I have to do now - is practice and stick up for myself.  I keep thinking about - what if I were a child?  What if I were my own mother?  I would not let that crazy bitch near me and/or I would strongly/kindly/FIRMLY tell her that she needs to respect the personal boundaries - I don't care if she NEEDS a hug.  She says all the time "I give GREAT hugs because I REALLY need a hug."  UM - listen you crazy fucking twat - if you weren't so fucking aggressive and TAKEY - maybe you would be getting more fucking hugs.  WOW.  And Im being so hard on myself.  But why?  It's got nothing to do with me - shes like this - I don't even know her.  I don't want to hurt her feelings and that is so crazy.  She is violating my boundaries over and over again.  Im going to have to write it out.  If it were corporate it would be easier.  Maybe.  I don't know.  Im sad and upset and taking myself very VERY seriously.  Im also just burnt out.  Im going to write it out and figure out a nice, strong way to say stop grabbing me.  Let her deal with the feelings of it.  What?  HELP.  Love you Bluebie bye.

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