Tomorrow.

It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since I have had treatment.  So I guess the chemo and everything else will start to - or already has begun to leave my system.  I am so scared or at least I have been scared all day until I went to type this and I had another tab open that says Never Fear Cancer Again and I remembered that I don't actually have to be afraid.  My Snake Doctor says "If I keep my terrain healthy there is nowhere for cancer to express itself."  He might not have said it like that.  He might have.  I really don't know but that was for sure the basic idea.  I probably already wrote it on here!  ANYWAY.  So.  So I don't need to be afraid because I am taking care of my terrain.  I haven't been feeling well - last week I even had one day where I literally felt like I had had chemo again.  I was sick to my stomach all day and I couldn't get out of bed - it was awful.  I have been so so tired and fatigued.  I am taking care of myself though.  I have been resting and staying as busy as I can.  I have been putting coconut oil all over my skin which has helped the rash so much.  I have been jogging!  Going a little bit more each time.  I floss and make lots of healthy foods and I am taking my supplements.  I have lots of healthy teas and every morning I am juicing that celery.  I'm cooking stuff where I am sneaking in other veggies.  I made mashed potatoes with pureed radishes and jalepenos - which were actually pretty because of the green and red specks.  It sounds SO GROSS but they were pretty good and the guy loved them.  Anyway my throat feels weird which I think means that there are Epstein Barr Virus bugs in my thyroid and the celery juice is killing them off so my throat feels gross.  OKAY THAT SOUNDS NUTS.  Insane thought number 2 is that maybe because I am detoxing from the chemo, it is going back through my system AND I did feel like I was getting choked for at least 4-5 months on one of the chemos - the taxol specifically.  Okay so this is fun to write about.  NO IT ISN'T.  I am going to try to just get healthy.  That's it!  I have a friend - she's in the program and she's older - a doctor - so sweet.  She keeps telling me if I eat a muffin or a piece of pizza once in awhile - it's okay because I can just eat a bowl of broccoli to offset it.  Okay - so what is that about - balance?  Something I am not good at but I can try.  I am so tired.  I have been eating so much garlic it's insane.  Okay gotta go the guy is going to be home soon.  Love you Bluebie bye.