Exhausted & Grateful

I'm on the bed - my most favorite place to work.  I was just doing - trying to do?  Social media stuff - I completely suck at it but it's fun.  I am just continuing to slowly build my business.  I miss acting.  I miss acting SO MUCH.  My guy thinks that's what I am meant to do.  I have to say I feel so fucking FULFILLED when I get to do it!  That being said I have a show tonight.  My spot is at 12:25 AM.  Can you fucking even believe that shit?  HA.  Oh boy and I am EXHAUSTED.  Why?  Honestly probably because of cancer treatment but other than that I have no idea.  I am convinced that I have Epstein Barr Virus.  I am reading all this stuff by the Medical Medium and he thinks that breast cancer is caused by EBV.  Something about it getting trapped in the breast as it's trying to get cleaned out of your system by the lymph system?  Maybe?  Holy shit I have no idea something like that.  But I have been tired for YEARS.  Ever since I got sober!  9.5 fucking YEARS ago.  That's a long time to be tired.  I also probably had at least one of my cancers that long too but still.  Anyway I am not going to figure it all out today although I want too.  I just want to read all of this guy's books in 2 days and then start juicing the fuck out of celery every morning and GET BETTER.  BECOME WHO I AM MEANT TO BECOME.  FREE MYSELF.  I also want to watch movies for 3 weeks and sleep for 2 months.  I am fighting some sort of cold.  It keeps kind of leaving and kind of coming back.  I ate I think 9 cloves of garlic yesterday.  To try to get rid of the cold.  I roasted them and put them on rice crackers.  YUM.  Anyway I have to get ready for this show.  We had a nice day today - the guy and I.  We meditated, he jogged outside - I jogged inside - had sex, went grocery shopping and then I made us dinner.  I must have done something else but I don't know what and now I am EXHAUSTED.  Yeah I just took a moment to think about it and I just couldn't think what else I did.  Oh I made us breakfast and I did the dishes.  Um - okay.  HA.  Well whatever I had cancer and I had Lyme disease and now I have Epstein Barr.  Or something.  Maybe I'm just old.  WHOA.  Fuck that.  I mean I guess I sort of am but I AM NOT.  I have to go and work on my set.  Love you Bluebie byeeeeee.