Friday, September 7, 2018
Well despite what might seem very obvious I have never ever really fully intellectually clicked in with how important for my overall health it is to be MENTALLY HEALTHY. Last night we were sitting on the couch and I was looking through instagram and a picture came up of this woman who is a sex doctor and she was wearing a sexy outfit - only it wasn't sexy and she grosses me out - I DONT KNOW WHY AND I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT IT. Maybe she is doing great work in the world! I think part of it is because she told my sister that if my guy and I needed help having sex she could help us. Okay yeah that's definitely a huge part of it - ANYWAY I DONT EVEN KNOW HER REALLY and then I was complaining about her right? So my guy says to me so sweetly that this is part of the negativity that I am trying to avoid in order to get healthy. Which of course I found completely fucking annoying - until this morning when I was meditating and I really suddenly understood mental health. Healthy thinking, kindness, redirecting what comes in - keeping that garden in my brain clean and fresh. IT BLEW MY MIND. Ugh I'm exhausted. It has been so much work just getting to this place in my life. GOOD FUCKING LORD. Alright well good for me. It's like I bought an old ass house that's falling apart and I have been redoing it for decades. At best I have been cleaning it the fuck out after a hoarder lived there. A HOARDER LIVED IN MY BODY HOUSE BRAIN/MIND. Haha. Gotta go - sex appointment with the guy. Love you Bluebie bye!