Sunday, January 28, 2018

Slowing down.

My life is so slow right now as I go through this current round of chemo.  I get so tired from doing one thing and all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch tv or read a book.  I just want to lay down and read books!  I managed to get on the treadmill today and run for 10 minutes.  Wait no I jogged slowly.  But I did it.  Then I walked for 25 minutes and did a teeny tiny bit of yoga.  Then I was so exhausted I had to lay down!  I feel better now.  At least I can do some things on this chemo.  The other one I couldn't even get out of bed I was so sick.  I just have wicked heartburn and indigestion on this one.  Oh man I feel like a pussy complaining about it.  People live in war zones.  I know that sounds stupid maybe but it's true.  This is like a low-grade sickness I'm going through right now and it's making me better.  Christ this is making me exhausted writing this.  It could be so much worse I guess is what I'm trying to say.  It sucks and I'm accepting it sucks and I am doing my best.  Now I need to lay down again.  I have a show tonight.  It will be mellow.  Everything is mellow right now.  So so mellow.  I drive slowly, I take my time, I rest, I lay down, I chill out, I take it easy and I just don't do much.  I go to my meetings and yesterday I went to breakfast with my ladies meeting ladies and that was fun.  I was so tired afterwards!  I came home and wrote thank you cards for 3 hours.  It took me 3 hours!  Listen I have been tired for YEARS I just kept pushing myself.  Now I just am letting myself rest and sleep.  Sleep!  I sleep a lot!  Let's see how long did I sleep last night?  10 hours.  10 hours!  Holy shit that's a lot.  That's basically how much I sleep every night.  Whoa.  Okay well good for me right?  Anyway so that's what is going on with me.  A very slow life.  Meetings, chemo, my cancer support group, a show once in awhile, the podcast once in awhile and sleeping.  Tv and books.  I got a library card!  That made my day!!  Was just so excited about that!  Okay I need to take a shower.  Love you Bluebie bye.

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