Triggered.

I just looked at my credit score and flipped the fuck out.  I - well - you know this is when I used to always act - FREAK OUT then make a lot of dramatic crazy choices and make things so much worse.  I'm going to just calm down right now and just go to therapy and continue on with my plan with the guy.  That's all - and then things are going to get better.  That's called recovery.  Do you know what's even crazier than getting triggered and then thinking up crazy ways to solve problems?  I have had this INSANE urge to shop.  I mean I had to just get myself home this afternoon on my day off and not go to fucking BANANA REPUBLIC and buy shit I don't need.  They sent me an email that said "50% off 5 regularly priced items."  And I was like WELL I BETTER GO DO THAT NOW!!!  Are you kidding me?  I have no money, I'm going to be moving AND - AND - I get FREE clothes from this new job - I can only wear their clothes to work - they give us the clothes and I don't need anything.  Good lord in heaven - what the serious fuck?  What a strange way to react.  OH!  I'm in a panic about money??  I better GO SHOPPING THEN!  Ugh - anyway - it feels good to write on here.  That job is slightly less crazy since Grabby McGrabberson finally got the message and stopped (for the most part) touching me and I don't work with her as much anyway.  Also it's been busier so there's less standing around and talking about - you know - her.  Goot go to therapy - ahahah - not funny.  My credit score isn't that bad - it's just not as good as it used to be and WHY AM I TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU??  What are you my mother - YOU'RE A BLOG.  I love you like a mother though - a sister?  A friend?  My BABY??  No.  I love you like a blog.  Byeeeee.