Friday, October 24, 2014

I'm chewing my lip off.

Excuse me - lips.  Stressful week and I really don't have enough money and I really am so fucking tired.  I have sat here all fucking day at this job - I had to FORCE myself to put some hats and scarves into the system and then I - what?  I felt like I moved mountains or at least like I really contributed to society.  BY PUTTING HATS AND SCARVES into the system.  I'm yelling.  I'm very upset.  I'm so hurt by something a friend said to me - a lot of somethings - I just am having such a hard time getting past it.  I felt sick for 2 days.  Okay - how is this so hard?  I've been in recovery for 5 fucking years and I'm so lost - it feels like.  Or just upset.  It's so slow here I'm just spinning around in my own head.  Anyway - well now some fur came and I can put that out on the floor and pretend like I did something today.  Wow - I'm being so hard on myself and I have worked so hard to be in a better place - I'm so upset.  I can't wait to go to therapy.  Bye Sweet Bluebers.  Ugh.

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