Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Scared at Rite-Aid.

Is it Rite-Aide?  I don't know - either way I got scared.  I was picking out a nail polish and a kid came over and asked if I wanted a cookie - he was holding one in the palm of his hand and I said "No thank you" very nicely.  Then he asked me if I give head.  I just looked at him and he had this look on his face and I realized he was so YOUNG and I just said "Not to 12 year olds now get the fuck away from me."  And I pointed my finger and I said it really loud.  Then he made a face and was like "Ohhhh" and his friend said "What did she say - oh man - I really wanted some head." As they were going out the door.  They left and then I got scared.  So I didn't know what to do and I just kept looking for the color I was looking for which is a really weird color so I took me forever to find and by the time I did I had calmed down.  But that fucking SCARED me.  What the fuck was this kid doing?  He was 12 but he was still bigger than me.  Of course my ego was like "Oh I must look so much better" except I look AWFUL today.  And do you know what I was wearing?  Blue tights, a dress with daisies on it and a (ha) dumpy cashmere sweater.  With a really sexy, dirty bun on my head.  No make-up.  HA.  What the fuck?  Then I told my boyfriend and he was like "Oh his friend probably dared him."  I was SO FUCKING MAD.  I was like that fucking kid SCARED THE SHIT out of me.  I told my boyfriend I'm going to learn Marshal Arts (I think I spelled that wrong) and then he said I was reacting to the situation and then I REALLY got mad.  Whatever - we worked it out but what is happening to me?  I suddenly can't deal with people anymore and I can't deal with some shitty little 12 year old.  I hate being scared almost as much as I hate being angry.  What?  You would think I love being angry.  I just ate so much garlic I have like fumes coming out of me.  What can I do?  What is an action I can take right now?  I know - do my little yoga before bed.  I want to lie down and be victimized but I think I am doing myself a better turn by doing yoga.  Ugh - I'm so upset - these last couple of weeks have been so sucky.  But yet - not.  UGH.  Okay - I love you Bluebie - GOOD NIGHT.

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