The MRI was okay - there is a small "enhancement" that they have to keep an eye on - the same one that was there last time. It's okay. This is going to keep me going on the healthy food path. The healthy everything path. But after these last couple of weeks I am left with this....are you ready?
I FUCKING HAD CANCER.
I not only had cancer but I had to go through 14 months of treatment and now my whole life has changed. I'm suddenly in menopause and I have a mustache.
So. So there you fucking go. I am going to have to get tested for a long time and take really, really REALLY good care of myself. Remember Radical Remission? The book I read about the 9 things cancer patients did to heal themselves of cancer? I looked at the list yesterday and one of them is INCREASE POSITIVE EMOTIONS. Hahahahahaaa. I stood there looking at the list for 2 minutes straight dumb-founded. I was like "What the fuck is that? I typed up the list and I still didn't remember that and God knows I certainly don't DO IT. So. So how about that?? HA.. INCREASE POSITIVE EMOTIONS OKAY. I mean I try not to be completely upset all the time - I try to be serene and grateful but hole fuck increase positive emotions. WOW. SO okay. Well anyway I got acupuncture yesterday and it helped. I got back to going to a lot of meetings and today I also went to alanon. It's a beautiful Spring day and we are going to a super cute place to celebrate my sponsors 26th anniversary! I am going to enjoy my life. But while I am doing that I am going to remember that I had cancer, and that my life has completely changed. So this is part of who I am now and the chapter has not been closed. It's not even a chapter - it's the fucking book man. LOL. I LOVE YOU BYE.
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