Balding.

My hair is falling out for real now.  They told me on Tuesday that I would be bald by Monday and I am well on my way.  It's coming out in clumps and I don't even have 1/8 of the hair I used to have!  Okay so deep breath I am going to be bald for 5 months or so.  They also told me that on Tuesday.  I was so sick yesterday and we just stayed home thank God.  We didn't travel.  I took a nap for 2 hours, then slept for 12 hours and took another 2 hour nap today.  Am I a firecracker or what?  I went for a walk at least, both days.  Well yesterday it was really a stroll - I could barely get myself going.  Anyway I am so lucky I am here at home and that my guy is just like hey rest enjoy it.  I wish I could enjoy it more but being sick sucks.  It was uncomfortable to sit UP yesterday.  Okay let's look at the positive seriously.  That one is done - I will start to feel better now and the nausea pills really work.  I am losing weight - haha - I am but who cares.  I am clean and loved.  Wow - I am really reaching for stuff.  I am being taken care of.  The chemo is working.  Yes.  What else?  The guy had a nice day yesterday.....he rested and ate lots of yummy food.  My brother brought us a thanksgiving dinner the night before so we still got to have a nice meal.  The whole thing!  A turkey and all the trimmings.  It was so sweet - he drove 3 fucking hours to bring that to us.  I told someone and she seemed surprised that I was so touched and I had to keep myself from saying I would NEVER do that for someone.  Haha I don't know that's not true except I have no fucking idea how to cook a turkey but I drive hours and hours to see my family all the time.  It just warmed my heart.  We ate it the night before because I knew I wouldn't want to eat a big meal yesterday.  It was so fun!  A one day early thanksgiving meal!   Okay well anyway I should start to feel better by tomorrow.  I'm going to go to a meeting tonight.  I got a new sponsor.  That was painful and awkward but it's okay.  It will be okay.  I need so much more now - this is the craziest thing that has ever happened to me - I don't want to drink.  I don't want to pick up and I want to stay plugged into this program.  It already feels so scary with all the shit I'm on and the emotional up and down of this whole thing.  I was crying HYSTERICALLY at that movie Practical Magic the other night - he had to put on a different movie - it was nuts.  Okay gotta go - love you Bluebie bye.