Stress Sandwich.

I did 2 shows last night and I bombed at BOTH.  Fun.  I'm so stressed out and spent way too much time yesterday trying to off-set one of my crazy sister's craziness.  It flips me out.  She is making a difficult time more difficult and I'm helping her by getting very upset.  It's amazing.  She is making it all about her.  It's so not helpful and its so not kind.  It fills me with rage.  Oh man.  I'm overstimulated and I feel a little hung-over emotionally and sick.  Is it hot?  Maybe I'm hot.  She just flips me out.  I work so hard on myself and try to be responsible for who I am and how I affect people and she just does whatever the fuck she wants.  Which the only thing I can think is that I need to do more work on myself if it's bothering me so much.  Let go and Let God.  I have no control over her and I was a DISASTER.  I used to cause such havoc.  Although I was never rude to my parents or sent my siblings text messages to go fuck themselves when I was drunk.  It's her being disingenuous.  I cant fucking stand it.  Just be a bitch and be up front about it.  I hate wading through the bullshit - it fucking drives me crazy.  OMG - I am a mess.  I think I should lay down.  I'm going to lay down.  I already prayed and meditated and then got ALL crazy again.  Let's try this one more time.  Love you BLuebie bye.