Monday, September 5, 2016

Complete, total and utter lack of Focus

Okay so there is a hurricane brewing, my mother doesn't feel well and I'm awake. Just listening to the wind whip through the trees. I can hear crickets too. It's so quiet. I can hear the highway in the background too. The electricity went out but then the generator kicked right in. That was weird. Super weird. Ugh so I have this time now to write and I just looked at Facebook for 30 minutes.  Maybe it was 10 - maybe it was 45 - I don't know because I have absolutely no focus! I'm feeling that same way I always feel when I'm nervous, under pressure, it's personal and I care ALOT. And that feeling is exhausted. Heavy. Lethargic. Want to lay down but can't sleep. Hungry - but full. Oye yoi yoi! So much drama.  What in the world is that about? It's like my nerves short me out.  I also feel like I'm going to fail so why even bother. That's the spirit! Ha omg - wow - born to fail - waaaay to goooo.  Alright well what's the truth? I can only do what I can do right now.  It's not that serious (even though it feels VERY VERY SERIOUS). Oh! I know. It's a challenge. I love a challenge!  I like that - it's s challenge. This house is scary as fuck - I mean Stephen King should come here and write his next book. That's what happens when you live in the city so long! A farm is SCARY. Ha. Oooookay love you Bluebie bye.

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