Monday.

It's Monday.  I have managed to get out of my pajamas, take a shower, do a little yoga, pray & meditate and talk to a sponsee.  I wrote in my journal.  I did manage to write last night and now I am in my office and all ready to write again.  This is such a great set-up for me, to be able to write in my quiet office at home.  Me head is so fucking loud that I need it so quiet so I can think straight.  So - so now I can write and work.  Oh boy.  I mean - oh I also spoke to my alanon sponsor.  I'm just so fucking triggered.  I'm so fearful and scared.  Well it's okay - I guess working on this writing and the pressure of this competition and really feeling like it's shit or get off the pot - I guess a lot of stuff is coming up.  Listen I can change my mind too.  I can decide I just want to sell dresses and flip-flops.  I just need to do it from a place of power that's all.  That's all!  I can do whatever I want and put my love and effort wherever I want I just need to do it from a place of power.  I know I said that already but I'm saying it again.  Okay let's get to work.  Love you Bluebie bye.