Pms. Holidays. Sigh.

I can't believe how much harder it is for me to write on here since I have the guy in my life now.  He's so wonderful - I just feel so weird writing around him and I'm REALLY terrified to write on his computer because I don't want him to see it!  Ugh - whatever - he already TOTALLY knows me - it's not like he would be shocked.  Like he would be "Holy shit - she was ranting and raving one minute and then totally fine the next - WHAT A PSYCHO."  That's not even funny.  I am in like a pms super-nova.  Holy shit.  Anyway - Christmas was spectacular and now I am back in the city and I'm just a mess.  But whatever - I took care of myself today, talked to my alanon sponsor, went to therapy (where my therapist couldn't remember what we were talking about last time - and it was almost LIFE CHANGING - CHRIST), went to a meeting, bought myself a 5 year coin that I never got and I came home and I'm cleaning and cooking which I LOVE.  I also - what?  I also - ugh who knows?  I need to go back to the grocery store for vinegar and cupcake mix.  That's the only thing that is going to help right now - cupcake making and eating.  Oh I went grocery shopping.  I am just being so HARD on myself - it was such a nice holiday - no one made me feel bad - my doucheface cousin wasn't there - it was great - and I'm still a mess.  Oh well.  One fucking day a time right?  UGH.  Bye.