I am fucking lonely

and it sucks. It sucks having no one to come home to and it sucks that I can't have people here even though there are strangers living here ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I'm in such a bad mood. I don't want to go home at all. And now I'm leaving and it's making me crazy because I know he's going to open my door or do something awful to me that violates my boundaries. I AM FILLED with RAGE. I am a mess. How is this better than when I drank?? I'm a fucking disaster and my eye won't stop twitching - it's so psychotic. I just want to eat cheese. Don't I sound awful and not fun? It sucks never having sex and to not even have a place where I CAN. What the fuck is that? I pay rent and not only does he unlock my door when I'm gone and open the door but he doesn't let me have people over. To sleep over. It's like I'm 12 years old - seriously. Only my father is a complete douche. I'm not okay - I feel like I shouldn't go home - at all. I just want to drink - drink and smoke pot. Oh and take a shit on Stan's pillow. Then pee all over his mattress and then throw up on it and have diarreah on his other pillow. I HAVE to ask him not to open my door when I leave. HE RUINED MY DAY and he is already ruining my fucking trip before I even leave. FUCK YOU - HAVE SOME MORE PROSTITUTES OVER YOU FUCKING CREEP.