Farming....

I'm on the farm for the week while my sister is gone on vacation.  We did the podcast here this morning and had my mom as the guest which was hilarious.  She hasn't been feeling well but she pulled it off.  I have been doing the Whole 30 diet and I was so stressed out on Saturday when we got here that I ate 3 cookies so I had to start over.  So today is day 2 but it's totally fine and I am fucking determined to do this reset.  We had to go to the ER on Saturday and stay with my mom for HOURS and by the time we actually got to the farm I was a wreck.  That being said last night I thought I was going to completely lose my shit....I have to give one of the cats a pill and I could NOT get the cat wrapped in a towel or a blanket or sneak it into any food and meanwhile my mother was coughing constantly and all I could think about was THE PIZZA WE BOUGHT HER FOR DINNER.  I was so upset and overwhelmed (which as I'm writing this probably sounds ridiculous especially if you have children BUT) that I was like THAT'S IT I AM EATING THAT FUCKING PIZZA - GIVE ME THE PIZZA.  Then - then I remembered Tony Robbins.  Then I thought about today and how gross I would feel if I ate that pizza - because I wasn't even hungry.  It wasn't like I needed food - I had eaten a nice, big dinner.  I just wanted it all to go away with delicious cheese and sauce.  But I wasn't doing it from a place of power!  It was a failure rage place!  So then I was like NO!!  I am not letting this cat get to me!!  Or these feelings which probably only have to do with my childhood and not right now!!  NO PIZZA NOOOOO.  So even though I HAD THAT PIZZA BOX IN MY HAND - I put it back.  I FUCKING PUT IT BACK.  When have I ever done that??  I'm so proud of myself.  Then I put the pill in some tuna and he ate it that fucker.  Then I drank a soda water and went on my phone for 20 minutes looking at nothing and I felt better.  Then today I was so glad I didn't eat the pizza and I was able to fit into my overalls.  I WANTED TO DRESS THE PART OF BEING A FARMER.  Ha!!  Meanwhile all I am doing is taking care of indoor pets and I let the chickens out of the chicken coop.  It's not exactly farming but it does LOOK like I am a farmer.  So that's all.  Byeeeeeeee.