Shame - my trauma from another Mother

Lol - that just made me laugh writing that title.  Ugh - anyway - Im here at home - Im going into work later today so I have an extra few minutes.  My sponsor wasn't nice to me this weekend - actually it started on Friday and what it was - was I said no to doing something and she didn't like it.  It felt like she was trying to guilt and shame me into it - I told her that and I said I simply could not do it.  The next day - she said she thought I wasn't being open, honest and willing and thought I threw a lot of alanon stuff at her - and she basically explained to me why I was wrong for not letting her convince me to do what she wanted.  Well so here's what Im learning.  I have a part in this - I am responsible for myself in this relationship with her.  But I also have a choice and I chose to know I did the right thing for myself from a healthy place.  So now what?  I don't know.  It was a little bizarre to be honest.  she kept saying I had a script going - I don't know - she really just sounded super angry that I didn't do what she wanted and honestly it was really unattractive.  I couldn't call her yesterday and now I feel scared that I have to get a new sponsor and that I am left without that guidance and that part of my framework.  Man - people can be really unkind.  She was really unkind and - well she wasn't listening to me and - she was acting like a baby.  Haha - which is hilarious and of course she was - she's an alcoholic not getting what she wants.  So uncomfortable.  I hope that I can find the strength to continue to be kind and honest.  I cant believe how honest I was.  I stood up for myself and I wasn't a bitch.  Well - who knows - hopefully it will turn out alright somehow.  GOD - I have pms - which makes me feel like I was being overly sensitive - whatever I have to get ready for work.  Love you Bluebe byeee.