Okay.

I got sleep - woke up and wrote in my journal and did some "step work" right off.  I feel better - not great but better.  I have the day off now so I can exercise more, clean and get myself together before work tonight.  Hopefully after a few days of exercise I will feel much - much better.  I had terrible dreams again last night - just cutting off heads and hiding them - that's all - no biggie - fun times.  Even when I drank and smoked pot - I never stopped dreaming - it's amazing I get any rest.  What?  What do I expect?  All I watch are murder shows and Zombie shit - hello.  Okay - I have to be really nice to myself right now - REALLY nice.  I pay my bills - HELLO - I never used to be able to do that.  I mean - I really do - I pay my bills.  My friend said I don't have any responsibilities but I do.  I have a responsibility to stay sober and get more sober and pay my bills and take care of my old dog - right?  I don't know - this is just a hard time that's all.  It's just all in my mind - I think I need to meditate for an hour.  Okay - why don't I do that and see what happens?  I will write back.  I'm going to change my perception or clean it anyway and see what happens.  Okay bye for now.