Staycation.

I stayed here in my neighborhood today.  I never do that - I am always leaving but the trains are all fucked up and I needed a meeting right away today so I stayed here and I went to a meeting in my neighborhood which I have never done.  It was fantastic - it was really, really wonderful.  I also went for a jog/walk in the park, ran errands, cleaned and got groceries.  I made myself breakfast, lunch and now I'm about to make dinner.  I bought stuff to do my hair and I'm going to give myself a mani/pedi.  Um - I'm exhausted but not completely yet so that's good.  I could really go on - I mean but what's the point?  I'm here taking care of myself, enjoying my apartment and trying to live up to my goals.  Fuck - now I feel like I sound like I'm full of shit and is dying my hair rose blonde a good idea?  I don't fucking know - I want a change and it's going to fucking happen.  I had 2 cups of coffee today because I can't live in complete deprivation so fucking boom yah - I had a second cup of coffee.  I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, drink and throw up on the floor, scream at strangers, piss in my bed or better yet - I don't pee myself completely after not being able to make it from the cab to my house because I drank so much.  I did that at least 3 times.  Just stood there and peed my pants literally.  I don't do that anymore.  Oh boy - whatever - I can't wait till I'm past this break-up - this is a fucking doozey man - why does he have to be NICE and act like he still LIKES me?  At least I don't have to see him till Thursday now so that's good.  Okay - I am going to make myself a bacon cheeseburger.  Fuck yes I am and I am going to watch Warehouse 13 over & over.  I love that show.  I smell cigarettes - isn't that so fucking ironic?  At least I am in my own apartment where I feel free enough to run to a meeting and go for a walk in the park.  I guess at some point the cigarettes will be out of my life too?  Yeesh - bye.