Hi Blog

Ahh - I wrote Blogg by mistake and I like the way that looks. Blogg. Haaa- that will be my secret name for YOU on my Blueberry Blog - Blogg. Okay - anyway - I shot another film yesterday and it was really fun and it came out great. It was tricky also - we started on the 7th floor and ended up in a garden - all in one shot. Amazing. So anyway - here's the ridiculous thing that is happening. I talked on here about how I don't need a guy or attention - or maybe I just said a guy AND one of the men who I like - let's call him Sweet Fingers - I was thinking maybe he did like me after all and guess what?? NOPE. Wrong again and even worse - I CARE. Christ. I am ridiculous. And now writing this I feel a little sick in my stomach. I really just wish I could empower myself and not care what people and especially MEN think about me. Not in a mean, bitchy way - in a healthy way. A "focused on me, my art and well being" way. Oh my goodness. It's really distracting. Well - I don't know what else to say. I feel stupid and a little sad. How come no one ever like me back that I like. Or how come no one HOT ever likes me. Haha - that's funny. Funny that I think that way and that I'm writing about this when I was all - NO MEN FOR ME!!!! Well I guess it's time to get back to that original idea. Was I just saying that so a man would come around??? Like a threat to the Universe? Well if I was being passive aggressive it backfired big time!!! I have things I need and want to do ttoday and it's also a work night. Oh Blueberry my heart is so fickle and desperate. What a way to be. Bye for now - I love you. YOU I love - I know with all my heart and soul.