Sigh.

Well I feel better - I got a decent night's sleep and somehow woke up and got myself to work.  I brought an apple, showered and put on a clean dress and dirty underwear.  I am beyond confused - I mean I just - okay - I'm not going to write about it.  I'm not that confused I'm just a little all over the place - I haven't adjusted yet to being busier and I will so just calm down.  I can do laundry tomorrow.  The comedy club is tanking.  The new manager quit and he's their son-in-law - which to me means (he has small kids) that he saw the writing on the boat wall and got the fuck out.  Ugh my stomach hurts from all the vitamins, onions and garlic I have been eating to get rid of my cold - which is so much better - thank God.  You know it is so weird to be sitting here in this store and women walk by, stop, press their faces against the door, point, make a face and then walk away.  What the fuck even is that?  Why does my stomach hurt?  Oh I know I said it already.  I really need to calm down.  Lord I miss that dog - it is so surreal to me that she's gone - I just can't.  I can't take it.  It doesn't help the loneliness - I keep getting so lonely but - oh well - that is part of life I guess.  I just need to make it to Tuesday.  I just need to make it to Tuesday and things will balance out that's all.  Christ it's only 2:12 - lord have mercy.  Okay well I guess I can write in my journal.  OW - bye.