Shows.

I got booked for a show - no big deal - I don't even think it pays but it made me cry I was so happy.  I was so happy to be getting back into the - I can't even say the swing of it - but to be at a beginning again.  Now I have to start working my ass off because I need this ball to roll and it's not going to if I drop it - what?  Yes - drop it.  I'm so tired.  I got up early and cleaned, walked - had friend over to help seal up my apartment to keep critters out.  It was really stressful and it only got partially done.  There's a fake drawer at the bottom of my closet - 2 fake drawers actually.  I mean - the are drawer doors that are there and there are not drawers inside - it's just empty weird space - except there's some papers in there.  One of the door has fallen off so you can see the papers inside.  She got completely obsessed with this and - well - it was a thing.  Then she noticed a - lump in the wooden floor boards and was more or less convinced that there's a dead body under my floor.  The floor is raised - but - listen - I'm the most sensitive, nervous person ever - but honestly - I just - I can't.  A dead body?  The weird part is that now it does look like such a lump in the floor - I can't believe I never noticed.  It does look like someone pulled up the floor boards and then put them back and then put screws in place.  I googled the guy who lived here before and he's a writer and he obviously left a novel in there.  She was looking at it with a flashlight and reading it and then she screamed and dropped the flash light and ran out into the hall and was all freaked out.  She said one of the papers moved.  I don't know - I think I'm thinking that being calm is a beautiful choice.  I went to a meeting and met a new friend there first.  I made ice tea today and came home after the meeting and made myself dinner and lunch for tomorrow and packed up the ice tea also.  Listen - it's really hard being around someone who is just freaked out all the time.  She's so beautiful too - and vibrant but she's - just like - her wires are poking out all over the place.  Her energy is just zipping out all over.  But that was me right?  Only WAY WAY WAY more angry.  She's sweet and funny - I really like her.  It makes me sad.  But it also made me want to just work a way better program.  That's all - I just want to be super sober.  HA.  But I do - super sober and SEXY.  What?  I love you Bluebie!!!!!