Holy fucknuts who am I???

What am I doing?  I literally smelled so bad tonight I was fascinated by it.  I worked today, walked to a comedy club, did a set, walked to a meeting that was so crazy I almost felt like I was being set up.  I still felt better after I went though.  Left there - walked to Duane Reade - got some shampoo, saw some comedy friends - walked with them to a new club - took the train home local to the bus and shortly after midnight - got home.  I smelled because today was the third day I took this dress out of the laundry - I haven't had time to do laundry.  I haven't had a chance to get groceries and I don't know - I just feel all over the place.  I'm - I'm a mess kind of but that set was so fun tonight - I had a decent set and there wasn't that many people at the show but it was fun.  I left and I was sad that I didn't have more shows to do.  What am I doing?  Is this crazy?  Ugh - I want a - family at some point but - I dono't know - how is this going to work?  How am I going to keep doing this?  Am I making any sense?  I could have gotten home so much sooner if I didn't go to a meeting but I reaaaally needed a meeting and I'm so glad I went.  I have to stay sober.  Somehow I will get better at all of this and somehow it will adjust.  Lord - I am tired.  Okay - um - well bye for now now my Bluebie love.