A cold, my period and Syria.

Not a poem - just what is happening today.  I still have a cold - now I have my period and in an effort to find out more about politics I started to read about what is happening and been happening in Syria and I fucking lost it.  All the pictures - the children - I really - I fucking lost it - it's so horrifying when it involves children.  This is why I don't want to know what's going on - I can't handle it - or at least that's what I have always told myself which is a totally fucking pussy ass move.  I didn't get sober to not grow up and not knowing what is going on is not growing up.  So I will see what is going on and eventually it won't hurt as much and then maybe I can even help.  I can certainly pray - I can do that.  I feel so selfish and foolish - but if I stay sober and keep growing I have a much greater chance of helping - anywhere in the world than if I was wasted.  Gross.  Lord help me I feel so gross.  I'm tired but I am willing to bet there is a woman is Syria who has her period and is LOT more fucking tired than I am.  Okay - I'm going to stop writing for now.