At work - keeping busy.

While I was on vacation my sister told me about this thing she read about and - was it a book or an article or a plaque?  I don't know but it's a FORMULA - Commit, Learn, Do.  Holy fuck - even writing that is making me nervous - or is it the iced tea?  I brought this HUGE thermos of iced tea with me.  Those long thermos's that have the little cup that goes with them.  Every time I pour some out I feel like a construction worker.  Cool right??  So anyway I just got nervous writing the word COMMIT.  I think I thought being obsessed was being committed.  WRONG.  Anyway - so - okay I'm going to try this.  Commit to being an artist - for real - that's it - and then keep following the formula - learn and do.  Listen if I didn't commit to getting sober - it just wasn't going to happen.  EVER.  I think.  Am I really questioning that?  OF COURSE.  Ugh - so 2 things.  I need to commit in my heart and commit in my actions.  That is so hard - it is so hard for me to do that right now.  I want the option of going to sleep but EW - ewww - right?  Holy shit - I need some water.  I'm so grateful to be at work.  I love you Bluebie.