Well.

Well so I went to the vet and he said it's not good - he said when a dog her age has seizures - it's not good.  He said they could do blood work to see if it's something that anti-seizure medicine will help with but if it's not - then I have to prepare myself for - well - putting her to sleep.  How else do you say it?  He said I have to ask myself about her quality of life.  Um - she's blind, mostly deaf, has arthritis and can't walk so well and now she has seizures?  He said it will keep happening - oh my God - come on.  Thinking of that poor little dog going through more seizures - and the aftermath?  She was so freaked out - it was so sad - so horrible.  So okay - so that's where we are.  I am sitting here waiting for the vet to call me and tell me about the blood work.  I already called there and his helper said he would call me when he had a chance.  That doesn't sound good does it?  I look so awful - I have been crying for over 24 hours now.  I took the dog to therapy with me yesterday and she laid on me the whole time - she hasn't done that in so long.  She is eating but last night - she was up and moving around and not happy all night.  I took her out this morning and this man said "Aww - God Bless."  She's not okay.  Well.  Well the good news is I'm at work and crying - so that's good.  I'm just going to have to cancel class tonight.  Why do I have PMS so early too?  2 weeks early and it's already SO bad - I am a mess.  I've already called people, I keep taking care of myself.  I feel sick.  What am I supposed to feel - good?  Thank God I'm sober - that's all - seriously - that's all.  Okay - bye for now.