Okaaaay. Wow.

So I went on the audition today - shit tons of people - all of them crazy and desperate - holy fuck.  One guy was farting moth ball smells poor dude.  So - I did have compassion for him but I also got up and moved eventually.  It was running super late and they had me read once after I was there well over and hour and then an hour and a half after that - I still hadn't read again and I was supposed to have a British accent which was - isn't my specialty by any means.  Okay - so I wait and wait and finally I got annoyed and asked if I could go and the guy got so annoyed with me and he was the one I read with and if you can imagine the fake ass smile he gave me when I left - oohhhhh BOY.  One of those squinty eyed, closed mouthed super tight faced grins - THAT.  Awful.  Okay - so I learned a lesson - ask sooner next time and nicer.  I was like "If she isn't going to see me again I'm just going to leave."  HA - awesome - threatening people is a great way to get a job.  Whoa.  There was a man there who I used to work with at one of the comedy clubs I used to work at and I totally hid from him.  I feel so bad - he was nice but soooo gross.  One time I was talking to him and he threw up in his own mouth, chewed a little bit and then swallowed it - without even NOTICING HE DID IT.  Sooooooooooooo - sooooooo - EWWWWW - ohhhhhhhh - isn't that so awful???  I almost threw up myself when I thought of it today.  But I shouldn't have hid from him because I missed a chance to audition for something else.  I wonder how people deal with that kind of thing.  Then I went and did a show at THAT place where I used to work.  My life is like bad episode of the Matrix.  The place is actually so much better - holy crap - I mean - almost decent really.  He also doesn't work there.  You know what though - he's still going on auditions and working hard so whatever.  HE got seen super fast too - so - how about I don't judge huh?  I'm not really - I just didn't want to talk to him and I was hiding behind my hair.  I came home, went to that meeting around the corner from me and then came back here and made myself dinner.  I really wanted a hot dog but I didn't want to spend any money at the grocery store plus - hello - not vegetarian.  So I made myself black beans with red onions and fresh garlic, jasmine rice and I fried some corn tortillas and put avocado and mixed greens on them with the rice and beans.  AMAZING.  I fucking love cooking - it's so fun.  I wonder how much that meal cost me.  I can tell you this - I ate a shit ton and I didn't feel gross.  I would have felt so nasty if I ate 2 hot dogs and some potato chips.  Maybe.  And a pickle.  YUM.  I love food.  I just played my ukulele also - I found a book of songs so I've been playing them.  I'm so tired right now.  Work tomorrow and then Wednesday I have 2 auditions.  Fun right?  Okay - I need to do my dishes and get to sleep.  Love you Bluebie.