Whoops?

I'm saying whoops because I'm not even sure how much of a whoops it is really.  He came over today to get his stuff, his son called while he was here and I cried, he held me and then we had amazing sex.  Amazing.  What the fuck is that?  He was being so nice and he - I LIKE him.  Fucking - a I can't do that anymore.  I even didn't shave to help avoid it.  When has that ever worked in the history of sex?  Oh - if I don't shave I won't want to have sex with him.  Right.  Anyway - he was like "I was slowly moving away from you to make it less painful - I still like you so this is hard."  Meaning breaking up is hard.  Okay - look he was really nice about me crying and whatever - the sex was AMAZING.  Fuck.  He took his TV at least.  Now for his printer, heart and shorts.  He needs to move his heart out of here.  At least it's honest now.  At least there's that.  I do not even a little bit feel broken up with him.  Maybe a little actually - maybe a little.  It was really heart breaking listening to him talk to his son.  I could hear him and it was so - so sweet.  I mean I could hear his son's voice.  Ugh - and his ex's - ugh.  She sounds nice actually.  Ouch.  So much ouch.  Next Sunday is Easter I think.  Oh boy I'm so tired now.  Class was amazing last night - I really did that monologue - I fucking just let it happen.  It was so fucking intense.  The class was whopping and whistling when it was over and honestly I kind of couldn't take it.  I'm not a good receiver of applause.  Am I seriously bragging and putting myself down a the same time?  Yes - yes I am.  Okay well I need to do my dishes and get ready for work.  I haven't been outside yet today.  Bye Bluebers - I love you.