I do not understand anything.

My whole day got rearranged yesterday when I had to take the dog to the vet suddenly.  Her eye was all crusted over and she was squinting and seemed in pain.  He came with me and was so nice.  He was nice and funny and even though he was super bored at the vet he was nice.  He even fell asleep.  Okay - then we went back to my place and had a wonderful, fun evening.  I don't understand anything.  When I started to write this blog I knew that I would sound like a crazy person because I was getting sober.  But I thought it would be interesting to be honest and see the evolution of one going through the process of sobriety.  Plus I had nowhere else to express myself - I was dying to get out all the toxicity and craziness - especially living and feeling trapped in that house.  Now - now with how crazy dating this guy is making me - I don't know - I just feel stupid and I don't feel like there will be any evolution.  We had so much fun last night.  We watched that movie Butter - it was fucking hilarious.  Or hilarious enough anyway.  Why am so embarrassed?  Well - who the fuck knows.  I can tell you this - right now I am exhausted and I don't have class tonight which is amazing.  I'm going to go to that big meeting and go home and take care of the dog, take care of me and go to sleep.  It's pouring rain and I am so bored.  So, so bored.  Am I doing anything creative?  No - certainly not.  I did pay bills and do other things to take care of myself.  Lots of things.  How about a poem?  I'm going to call it "The Lesbian Outside The Window."

I am at work.
There is a lesbian outside the window.
I work in clothes.
Girly, girly clothes.
Once in awhile a woman comes in that looks like she has never & will never wear these clothes and walks around saying how pretty things are.
Then they leave and never buy anything.
I can never figure out what is really happening.
This woman has got to be a gym teacher.
If she's not a gym teacher I don't know who is.
At first I thought she was a Jewish man outside the window.
Then I realized she was a lesbian.
I feel bad about this poem but I'm only saying that so if a Jewish man, gym teacher or lesbian reads this they won't think I'm an asshole.
Only I don't really care.
I'm not an asshole and neither is the lesbian outside the window.
Probably.

Bye.