I feel sick.

to make a long story short - he slept over Saturday night (after I waited 21/2 hours for him - he didn't ask me to but I did), held me the entire night, took the rest of his stuff and then yesterday came over for lunch.  I didn't have sex with him again but today - today I feel horrible.  I'm not explaining myself.  It's because yesterday when he got off the train it felt like we were together again and all the same stuff started happening again - jealousy, obsession - just overall feeling awful.  I don't know - I'm a mess right now.  Getting my taxes done yesterday didn't help AT ALL.  I totally owe money and I was hoping to get a refund.  He was like "That's why I don't pay taxes."  Um - what?  Oh I am a mess right now - Sunday is Easter and I'm supposed to go home and now I don't want to.  Okay - look it's just a crazy time - that's all.  What?  Why did I break up with him and then KEEP GOING OUT WITH HIM?  Fuck.  Alright - more will be fucking revealed.  I need some water and a colonic.  Just kidding.  How about a vacation?  I'm fucking miserable right now.  Okay - I'm well fed, I have an apartment - I have jobs - it's okay - I will be okay.  I just have to get my power back AGAIN now.  Alright - whoa.  Bye Blueberry.