I took care of myself by

not going to work tonight. I went to a meeting - went to Forever 21 (I know - so ridiculous) and got a cute pair of cheap boots and a 13 dollar sweater. I returned my movies and both were 2 days late but the guy was nice and only charged me for one of them. Then I went to the health food store and got some things and decided to go to 9th Avenue to my favorite Thai place. As I was walking towards it out of a restaurant comes Soft Hugger and I guess a woman he was on a date with. He was really nice and went to hug me but stopped because I was so freaked out. I was so out of it today - I never really had woken up even at that point and I was SO shocked to see him. I got shaky and nervous and the reason why I was so surprised was because I thought he wasn't in town. I thought he was away because I'm a weirdo and look at his performing schedule on his website. I am never doing that again. He was so nice and introduced me to the woman and she was very sweet and pretty. He asked me if I live around there and then asked me where I live. When I told him that I live in a Bed and Breakfast he said "I don't know why but that seems romantic to me for some reason." Only he looked at her when he said it. They seemed really comfortable with each other. I can't imagine being that comfortable with someone. They strolled off slowly together. After he said that she said "I think it sounds affordable." Haha - that was funny. Only she wasn't trying to be funny. Which made it more funny. I guess I feel better after writing this. I dreamed last night I was pregnant and I was so happy. I also dreamed I had a little tiny gray kitten. It was so warm and fuzzy. My heart almost broke all day every time I saw a child or a baby. The only time it didn't was in Forever 21 when this horrible 2 year old was screaming and trying to escape/explode from his stroller. I don't blame him at all but it was awful and it took away the ticking clock for 30 seconds.I'm really emotional. I'm lonely but more than that I'm trying to let myself realize that it's okay for me to really fall in love again sometime. With myself and someone else. Love is possible and should be. I hope someday after I stop being a weirdo around Soft Hugger I can feel comfortable around him but more than THAT I hope one day I'm dating someone that I can stroll off comfortably with. Who also fucks my brains out. Just saying. I'm going to do my hair now and watch ANOTHER movie on Netflix. It's only 2:14 a.m. - why not?