Oh my today is already upsetting me.

My landlord woke me up with the washing machine - because when you use the hot water the pipes shake. It sounds like someone drilling in my bathroom wall. I think he hates it when I sleep. I'm not sure why. I feel so victimized and awful. I feel like - well - there you go - it's happening again. He's running the hot water and it's drilling again. Well - ooooookaaaayyy. I just need to work tonight - get through it - make whatever money I can make and then I have 4 days off. I will try to wait to meditate until after this stops. I guess this is all the emotional stuff that comes up with the UNDA drops? By using the UNDA drops? I really - why doesn't he use cold water? I really don't understand. I feel like I have raging PMS and I feel so stressed out. I'm so upset - I feel like I'm failing. I wish I worked at a nice place with nice people who were kind and wonderful. I feel like no one loves me. I reaaally feel left out and I feel sick to my stomach that this is my life. I suppose - well - okay so this is how I feel - who cares. What an asshole this guy is - he's probably washing 2 shirts and a pair of pants. I'm 50 dollars short on the rent and I could care less. I don't even want to give him the rent I do have. I know that's why he ran the laundry before - to try to wake me up to give him his rent. He's such a fucking asshole. Ugh - now he's making other noise. I hate him, I hate everyone I work with, I'm lonely and I had a drinking dream last night. It really seemed like I was drinking. It's always white wine. I hardly ever drank white wine. Well - I hope you are okay Blueberry - sorry for being such a downer.