Who the fuck is reading this?

It says there are 20 page views!!  Is someone other than my one friend reading this??  It's a miracle!!  It's a Christmas miracle!!  It is so slow here that I forget that I am here at his store.  A woman just walked in and I was singing to myself.  Seriously awkward.  Well it's snowing and dark out - winter is here.  I went to a meeting last night and farted the whole time and tried to act like it wasn't me while squished in between 2 people.  Um - the only thing that happened was I made it SO obvious that it was me.  It was the most uncomfortable saying goodbye to people ever.  Why couldn't I just be like "BYE - SORRY I WAS FARTING THE WHOLE TIME - I HAD A CAPPUCCINO!!"  Gross.  I would be SO offended if someone was farting next to me for an hour and a half.  I said to the girl sitting next to me when I sat down that the girl I was talking to right before that smelled like sex - and she did but really?  I talk about someone else smelling and then I fart the whole time???  I hate being a nervous farter.  I HATE IT.  I do however feel better having written this.  So take that dear blog and go on with it.  BYE.