Maybe this is where actual human strength comes in.....

when there isn't total drama and it's a slow move towards health.  I went on that date and it was okay - I spent about 35 minutes with him and I could not take a minute longer.  I went home and made myself blueberry pancakes and fresh guacamole with refried beans, cheddar cheese and blue corn chips.  Then I got all ready for bed, did some yoga and went to bed early because the radiator was making the craziest sound all night.  I also need the earplugs for the mice anyway.  I'm going to have to throw out the couch - the mice are living in it.  My first couch in ten years and I have to throw it out.  I woke up and there was part of the ceiling caving in because the radiator above me must be leaking.  I called the super and he said he would come and never did because he "fell back to sleep."  Ha.  Okay but I got all ready for work, prayed & meditated and walked the dog - did all of it, packed my clothes for my next job tonight and so that is that.  I am hoping that it doesn't cave in more actually now that I think of it.  I got here to work and I called my father to check on him - my mother made me promise to call him while she is in Spain this week.  For the beginning of their marriage he was away on submarines for months at a time and now she travels all over the world without him.  Hilarious.  But hilarious I mean - I don't know.  It makes me sad only my nose is tickling so it's not real sad right?  That date made me so sad last night.  It was practice - it was practice and then I got to go home and take care of myself and today I am as rested as I can be and at a job where I can write a letter, call my father, talk on the phone and write on this blog.  I meditated on the way to work also.  I'm trying so hard.  I'm trying to feel my feelings and listen to the Universe.  So slow - this is all so slow.  I'm not exactly having a blast either - hahahaha.  Why did I write that - I only meant one haha.  Being awake is hard.  Bye Blueberry - thank you for you.