Look at me I'm a blogger.

I always think how insane the cave men would think we are. Christ - they were happy to stay WARM and I'm so happy that I'm blogging. I really want a camera. And I'm also - well - I feel a little better. Committing to meditating everyday and praying plus walking more has started to both plant me on the ground and move my blood. So - okay - I'm healing more. Plus I made money this weekend and now I'm somewhat catching up on my bills. Hopefully after this week I can sign up for the gym so I can start swimming. There is a YMCA 4 blocks away - how amazing will that be? Okay - I think I'm getting sleepy - another amazing part of exercise. I get tired. I'm so fat though - okay - I'm at least 20 pounds over. It's okay - it's alright. I felt like I had so much more to say. Remember gorgeous, hunky, soft hugger guy? Well I - I get him - that's all. But do you know what I realized? I almost never feel comfortable around men. And if I even remotely like them - FORGET it. How bizarre. Then at every turn - it's over and it never even began. How can you try to grow something when I'm not being honest? How fucking exhausting is that? Christ - forget it. So I have a lot of work to do on myself. Also - I miss being funny. I really miss it. I'm only saying that. I MISS being funny to an audience. I'm so sleepy - holy crap. I LOVE YOU YOU BLUEBERRY BLOG!!!