Awoken by the instrument from hell - however

I realized that getting angry and throwing a total fit would not help anything at all. It was already 1 o'clock in the afternoon - which is time to take a nap by most peoples standards so it was fine for me to wake up. Also - it hurts to get so angry and it won't change anything. So slowly I'm working on changing my thinking patterns. And I guess my reactions to my anger. It's like seeing a spark of anger and either feeding it into flame or not. Plus if I really needed to sleep I can turn the fan on. So I'm getting a tiny bit better. Now I would like to work on being authentic all the time. So even if I'm down and sad - letting myself be that. I mean around other people. Just be REAL. Somehow that has always been so hard for me. My high sensitivity is partially why. When I'm really landed on the ground and present - I see things for what they are - not what I imagine them to be. That is very painful. I suppose in some way I feel it's easier to be in my head and in lala land than to be present and authentic. Um - duh - of course. Well okay - so now what?