A beautiful day

I overslept because I could not sleep - I was up until almost 7. I had a thought today which is that the negative things I tell myself are perhaps as big of lies as the lies other people tell themselves that are grandiose. Her Lady Wonder said that to me once - that thinking I'm a piece of shit is as arrogant as thinking I'm AMAAaaazing. I am on the verge of really understanding that. The verge? Okay - I think I get it. I realized today that I have all these REASONS and people who I point fingers at and the reality is that I have been sick for a long, long time. So - there you go - that is the only thing that counts. I need to heal and let all that gooooooo. And have my own back. Yup - oh and guess what? That guy who - I have liked on and off for 12 years? Ha - I know - he's got something so creepy on his website. So - oh well. And it's sort of a relief. A relief??? Well he doesn't seem to WANT me and it's never happened at ALL. So it's frustrating. Oh boy. It's probably just a bad joke and it is supposed to be a joke but it freaked me out. Shocked me, really. Anyway I prayed and meditated today so far and hopefully I will walk to work. I have a meeting that I'm going to first. Hopefully I will get tired enough that I will sleep tonight. Ta-ta for now.